Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
