btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
