Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
