I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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