Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
