I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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