I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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