a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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