So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
COCAINE IS GR8
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