hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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