literally had 100 drinks last night.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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