He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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