his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
