I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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