told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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