maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
