This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
