I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
