Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My pussy is not your playground.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
