At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
