Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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