bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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