I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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