My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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