Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
