no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I checked into jail on foursquare
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
