she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
