Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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