I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
