Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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