HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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