doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
