i was rollin on her like bob the builder
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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