we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
