Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
