Having a random hookup so left but love u
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
