White coat. Heels.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
