Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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