Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
