It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
