what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize