Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
