I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
