your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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