You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
