I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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