i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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