so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
