My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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