We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
